Knowing where to start

When I think of happiness, I picture myself in a specific place, situation, and feeling.  I picture the people around me and even what I’m doing.  Several years ago, I couldn’t do that.  I had no idea what happiness looked like.  I realized that I had always wanted to be happy.  I had searched for this illusive thing all of my life, yet I did not know what I was looking for.  One day I happened upon some material produced by Steven Covey.  I spent a few dollars, and after going through the material, I realized what my problem was.

I didn’t know what happiness was, because I had nothing I could use to orient it with.  I had been searching for some kind of mirage, that I not only couldn’t see, but I couldn’t understand.  The reason happiness was so illusive to me, was that I didn’t even know what I really wanted out of life.  Worse, I didn’t understand who I was, or who I wanted to become.  I didn’t know what that final destination was suppose to be either.  To me happiness was some far away destination which required a very long journey.  I guess I expected to be carried there in vehicles such as fortune, fame and influence. 

I suppose I was looking for a map to happiness, as though this was a certain place where everyone went.  I wanted to go where everyone else was going to be happy.  I figured all I would have to do was to find this map, and I would be able to find my way.

I was a scoutmaster for quite a while, and I often tried to teach my scouts some orienteering skills. A young fellow like that, had no idea what orienteering was, let alone know how to read a map or use a compass.  (In short, Orienteering is using a map and compass to know where you are, and be able to find where you want to go using that map.)  So for some time we would work on those skills.  It took quite a while to teach them well enough to comprehend all the steps and how to use the tools to at last locate the place where they were on a map.  It took longer to help them understand how to use the map to get from one place to another.

Thinking of this example, if we were lost in the back country, and we were handed a map, it wouldn’t mean much.  For one thing, we would need the right map, which would correspond to the location we were in.  Then we would have to figure out exactly where we were.  We would have to have the right tools to find that spot, and to keep our map oriented in the right direction.  Then we would need to know where it was we wanted to go.  Only after answering for all those factors, would we be able to find our way.

So for that map to happiness, (in my imagining to find happiness), it would require the same things.  I knew that until I knew what I really wanted, who I really was, and where I was starting from and the tools I would need to get there, and finally be able to recognize the destination when I arrived, I would always be searching a dream.

As I worked on trying what Steve Covey instructed, I learned a few things about myself.  It took a long time to come up with a definition of myself.  It took longer to formulate a mission statement, and nearly as long to set real workable goals for my life.  Nevertheless, in the process, I realized that I knew what happiness truly was for me.  It was shocking to me, because I also realized that with those things figured out, I already had all of the tools I needed.  I also felt that my destination was clearly in my view.

My first step in this process was learning who I really am.
I believe that this will help anyone to find happiness.  So if I may, I would suggest reading Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Successful People.  He has all those steps clearly marked.  It can be found at the following link.  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_5?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&sprefix=7+hab%2Cstripbook

Knowing more clearly who I am really helps.

Until next time.

Jene

Who are we? What is this law of Happiness?

I can only give it to you from my point of view. 

To me happiness is the ability to truly feel good about ourselves.  Happiness is a feeling of deep contentment.  Happiness is knowing who we are, where we fit, and that we matter.  Happiness is being loved, and having the capacity, and the ability to love.  Happiness is doing and being the right person, doing the right things. 

There is a part of each person on earth, that desires and yearns to be happy.  It’s because we are each part of something much greater than who we are in the here and now.  We have each already experienced it, and our spirits know it well enough to recognize when we don’t have it.

There are many who believe that there is a supreme being who controls the universe.  Others refer to it as a force.  Still others discount that, and believe that we are alone in the universe, and that every part of our lives is nothing more than a long chain of chance and circumstance.

The truth as I see it, is that there is a God.  And it is my conviction that we are each literally spiritual sons and daughters of God.  Our spirits know him.  We knew him well, before this mortality.  We are a part of him and he is a part of us.  We look like him, talk like him, and feel emotions like him.  And like all children, no matter where you find them in nature, in the natural course of life, we grow up, and in our heart of hearts we yearn to be like our parents.  It is a natural phenomena to spiritually desire to be like our Heavenly Parents.  It is our purpose for being.  Our spirits will never find true contentment, until we become, like our Father-In-Heaven. 

I am convinced that happiness is governed by law.  Just as all success is governed by law.  Some may think that lasting success, or indeed happiness can be grabbed out of thin air like a magician’s trick, or can be had by some kind of short cut.  But this goes contrary to the laws upon which it is predicated.  One cannot learn to swim, if they never go into the water.  One can never learn to love deeply, until developing a trust relationship.  No amount of football will ever teach you to play the piano.

It is my experience and my conviction that the laws of happiness require service to others, gratitude for all that one has, continual personal improvement, being honest, trustworthy, and everything else that a boy scout promises to be.  It requires that we love others, and allow others to love us.  It requires that we respect others, and ourselves.  It requires constant work, and our greatest efforts.  It requires that we share our knowledge, our possessions, and our lives with others.   To be happiest, it requires that we pattern our lives as close to the example set by Jesus Christ, as we can. 

Some will find my words difficult to accept, maybe even offensive, but they are true and easy to test.  You see, there is the truth factor.  Scientifically, if something is true, then it will remain true in every circumstance.  A person may never be rich, popular, famous, powerful, or sexy, but everyone can be happy, if they apply the laws of happiness. 

Of course I know from personal experience that the path to happiness is not an easy one.  The old adage that says “you don’t get something for nothing,” well, it’s a fact.  One might think so when they pull the handle of the slot machine and win a fortune, but there is always a price.  The cost is almost always at least the worth of the gain.  Sometimes it is a great deal more.  Sometimes the cost of the foolish things we buy, is so dear that whole lives are destroyed. 

We might think that the price of happiness is to expensive to us to do it the right way, so we settle for other things that seem easier, like drugs, alcohol, infidelity in a marriage, child, parent, or spouse abuse, and the list could go on and on, but look at the cost one might pay for those substitutes.  None of them will bring happiness.  

Unlike financial success, happiness costs more and is harder to maintain.  I think of my family, and my new wife.  I marvel at the happiness I feel with those I love so deeply.  Yet nothing about a family or a marriage is easy.  Happiness takes constant work, with no vacations, and unlike any other part in our lives, there are never any short cuts to happiness.  It seems that some people are able to attain it easier, but in reality they have either been constantly applying the law of happiness, or they just worked at it a lot more. 

Happiness recognizes no financial barriers, no social class, no ethnic limitations and no geographical boundaries.  Happiness is available to anyone, anywhere, anytime.  If there are limits to it, they are the limits to which we ourselves have thrown in its way.  If we follow the law that governs it, happiness will be ours. 

Life happens to everyone, and everyone deals with their own unique situation differently.  Some among us have lost limbs, spouses, parents, siblings, jobs, senses, liberty, even the use of their bodies, and still they find a way to be happy.  While others gain financial independence, or even financial empires, unequaled fame, prestige, power, or influence and still their lives are cold, dark, alone and miserable.

What is the difference?           

I don’t intend to write a book here, but I’ll try to explain it as briefly as I can.  First of all, we have to understand ourselves, our very nature, to begin to understand why many of us are continually searching, and still are unable to find the happiness we seek.  It goes back to our relationship with Deity.  It is hard to be content until we are living up to our potential, or at least feel real progression toward our potential.  The further away we get from that potential, the worse we feel.  It sounds simple, but I know that it’s true.  If we live the law of happiness, which includes drawing closer to our creator, then happiness is ours.

Understanding this has been a way for me to find happiness.  It is something that I have to constantly work on, so I can be happy.  I hope you find some of what I’ve written to be helpful. Like I told you before, I don’t claim to be an expert.  I’m just sharing what I have learned to make me happy.

Until next time,

Jene

What is Happiness?

While a teenager, high school was the first time I had ever met anyone I knew who was doing drugs.  I asked him why he dared do them.  He told me that it made him happy.

There was a real estate developer in our community when I was young.  He once came to talk to a group of youth.  He told us of the marvelous opportunities out there for us.  He had a reputation of having a lot of money.  Someone asked him about his wealth.  He seemed happy to share with us that he was indeed wealthy.  He told us that money was what kept the world turning.

Also during that time, I met people who sought political office.  I could tell that some of them had little regard for any of us, their only thought was to get our vote.  They wanted the power that our votes would give them.

When video games first came out, I met a young fellow who did nothing outside of school, except games.  He seriously never stopped while he was awake.  There were precious few of them back then.

Whenever I would ask these people why they were doing those things, they would tell me that it made them happy.  I admit that I too found myself thinking that things like money, fame and power might make me happy too.  I thought about many things that I could do with them.  I wanted toys like a new car.  Yes, I thought all of that could make me happy.

I spent two years in Europe as a missionary.  One day while we were out on the street.  Two young men about our same age threatened us with knives.  They wanted the money we carried.  We didn’t have any.  We talked them out of pursuing it any further.  It came to light, that they were desperate for the money, so they could feed their drug habit.

While in the same city, I met an extremely wealthy man, who had been a very powerful business man.  He languished in a rest home with a heart condition.  The only visits he got from his family were to see if he was still alive, or whether they would at last be able to get to his money. 

A few years later, I was shaken as a friend left his married family to pursue another woman.  He lost his family and a few months later he lost the woman he had pursued also.  Then he was horrified over the loss of the family he had left, especially his little ones.

I don’t mean to make everything sound as though they are bad things.  For instance, money is a necessary tool. Many of the things we do in life are good things.  My point wasn’t to show anyone’s foolishness.  The point was that we all seek happiness.  Sometimes we make big mistakes, even when our motive is something as lofty as happiness.

The question is, what is happiness?  Is happiness found in money? Fame? Power? Or a number of the other pursuits we persist in?  After 50 years of pursuing it myself, I can definitely say that happiness is not a thing.  It is a state of mind.  No matter how much money we have, no matter how many cars, houses, toys, drugs, sex, power, or fame, they cannot make you happy.  They can give you momentary fun, but not happiness.

In fact, without restraint, any and all of those things will bring nothing but misery.  Happiness is a sense of contentment.  Happiness comes from self improvement and using that improvement to help others.  It is finding contentment in whatever condition life has to offer us.  One can be in pain, set about with all kinds of challenges and still be happy. 

Happiness and joy are not something that we can seek out necessarily, but it is something that we can cause to happen.  Part of it is making a decision to do something about ourselves.  There is a law to follow if we are to be happy.  The better we follow this law, the happier we can become.  Part of that law reads that no one can give you happiness.  Happiness doesn’t just happen.  Happiness has to be worked for.  It is a state that we have to earn.  If we wait for happiness to fall upon us, it will never happen.  Fame, fortune and power can be tools to use for the ingredients that will earn our happiness, if we use those things to serve the needs of others, but they can never bring lasting happiness.

So, how can one be happy?  That is the subject of this blog.  I will share what I have learned, my thoughts and some of the things that have worked for me.  Again, I’m not an expert, I’m just a guy who has gone around the block a few times and I’m still doing it.  I have my ups and downs and look forward to your insights as well.

Until next time, may your days be sunny.

Jene